to you

Who am I??? I am the one
The one that you rush
The one that you push
I am the one who is hurt
I feel like im down in the dirt…
I need you to help me
I need you to love me
Love me?
Ha who am I kidding!!!
Do you wanna love me?
Or do ya just wanna fuck me!!
I need to stand strong
I know that it’s wrong
Why did I do it???
Why’d I go thru it?
Does it show all your affection???
The fact that you used protection??
Im dying in heart…
Im dying in soul…
Im dying in spirit….
I scream for help….
But nobody hears it
I gave it up
I gave you my love
I was hurt before
Never again would it happen…
That’s what I swore
I don’t know what to do...
I think I love you
But I know what is right
And what is wrong…
And that was all wrong…
It’s like an addiction
Seemed so good at first…
It even seemed right
Now I look back…
And loose sleep every night…
-ajjaco

Mistakes

I wonder of this relm
they call it reality...
it makes me stop to question
how to find the true me

tried once before ya kno
a long time ago my defenses fell
and i let myself come out
of my protective shell

Only then to find that
they laughingly call it reality
but was more in truth
a personal purgatory...

I made such a mistake
thats caused so much pain
this day i make a promise
to never let it happen again...
-Ajjaco




ok i havent been puttin my poems up onhere let me kno wat ya thinx maybe ill put more up

Does it make sense to you???

Ok so here is the thing
ya got in trouble
then you made a mistake
and got in trouble again...
as the first punishment
you are grounded from somethin
ok sounds fair ryte???
yeah its ok i can handle that
ya kno parents
always wanna be in control...
or at least feel like it,
but...
does it make any sense
at all to meet things head on pushy???
ok so i made a few mistakes
im sorry
i learned my lesson and
i will accept the punishment
but do you really think
that you can be this pushy with me???
you want me to stop sulking...
you want me to be happy
you want me to accept and love this ....
change...
CHANGE???
my life has been ruined
and wat do you think they do
to fix it???
do they ween me slowly from my old life???
NO
wat do they do???
they tear it away...
everything i have grown to love...
gone overnyte
my friends???
no contact
my skool???
transfered
my cross team!!!
a new team...
as if taking everthing i loved
will make me love wat is there???
NOT GONNA HAPPEN
wat you have done
my dear parents,
by taking EVERTHING...
you have yes left me with nothing
but...
in retrospect you have
left me with nothing to loose!!!
wat is left smart ones???
my friends, skool TEAM!!!!
nope there is nothing left!!
you have taken it all
and in doing so
you have ruined yourself
you have given me the control
given me the power
afterall
wat is mopre powerful
than an enemy with nothing to loose...
as that is wat you have made me
my dear parents
you have made me your enemy in this war
a war that ...
I promise...
you will loose

dissapointment

have you ever noticed
why is it that no matter what we do
we can never really gain our parents approval
as teenagers???
we stay quiet and out of the way...
your depressed and neurotic..
thats what they say
randomly trying to please
we open up
laugh smile and chatter with ease
your suspicious...
what drugs have you taken
they turn relentless and seem vicious
its makes you confused
your so scared,
you always loose...
i dont kno who you want me to be
ive tried so many times
ive no idea who is me...
im lost and alone
you kno its your call
who i am you decide
pick soon tho its me or nothing at all
so ....
who am i

How do you kno

ok so here is the thing.
How do you kno when your love is the real thing???
what is really the ultimate expression of true love???
I kno i kno alot of you would say duhh...sex...
you only do that when your really in love right???
....wrong...
even if you have sex that does not mean your really in love...
in alot of religions that is a sacred bond for only husband and wife
and marriage is reserved for those who are truly in love...
right...???
....wrong...again
so many people nowdays have sex outside of marriage and ya kno what ...
honestly i dont thinks its wrong.
now that doesnt mean i think it should be a free for all have at it anytime thing
no it shouild only be for people who feel its right
and i mean mature adults who are in a committed relationship do it...right???
....wrong...again
hookers prostitutes "gold diggers"
do you think they are always in love with every person they are with???
nope probably not maybe some but not all
so ...what...this proves that sex is not the ultimate expression of love right???
....wrong...AGAIN!!!
heres how i look at it...a relationship is controled by you and the other person
not society not your family and friends not the celebrities
so are they the ones that should kno what is YOUR ultimate expression of love is???
should the world decide such a big deal in your life for you???
...nope...
each person is different we all look act and react different
each person feels and loves different
so doesnt it beg to say that each person or couple are different???
as such each person or couple will view something different
some act thought or look as the "ultimate" expression of love right???
...RIGHT!!!
so here world is your million dollar question
each of you is different with different relationships...
so what is it, what act or look , thought or show would YOU consider
the ultimate expression of love...

why do we question???

think about it!!!! why do we question science when we have all the proof you can think of??? examples when it works or not and why...we question the truth of science and investigation yet when it comes to religion its just taken as the truth...we demand proof undeniable hard facts for everything yet we are expected to just believe with religion. how do you believe and trust something you cant see/hear/or touch??? where is the proof that we are always looking for??? im just trying to understand why we change our standards simply for a book??? what is it about the bible that causes unwarranted belief and undoubtable trust???